Tomorrow is dads last day at the church.
I know that.
I know there is a big celebration during the worship service and then a carry in.
I know that tomorrow will probably be my last time attending Milford 1st Brethren Church.
I KNOW all of this.
But, it hasn't really clicked.
Like, its so much more than just dads last Sunday.
This is it.
I will no longer drive by the church and see dads car there and stop to chitchat with him.
I will no longer be able to just go in a make a copy of something or borrow a table.
I will no longer know what is going on with people in the church because I know longer will have a connection with them.
Sure, there are a few familys that nothing will change with.
I will not lose Grandma Lois
The chupps
The strubes
But ya know what? Thats probably it.
I didn't really have an outside of the church relationship with anyone else.
How sad it that??
I guess I never really thought I had to though.
I knew I would see people every week.
I knew that if something was going on in their lives I would find out about it.
That connection....gone.
The hardest connection to lose is going to be for Brycen.
He will lose Miss Barb.
He LOVES Miss Barb.
He has always done so well at going to Sunday School.
He gets the biggest smile on his face when he see's her.
Yes, we go to Goshen church now but we still popped over to Milford every once in awhile.
How do you explain to an almost 4 year old that one of his favorite people outside of sunday school, he will no longer see.
Sure, I know the church will still be there and we will still be able to attend on occasion but I'm just not sure I could go back.
Its not my church.
It's not my dad upfront.
It's weird
Its weird as it is to go to another Brethren church where dad isn't the pastor.
How could I ever go to dads old church?
I mean, after the service I usually stand by the back wall near dad and shake peoples hands.
Pretty sure the new pastor would be creeped out if I did that.
I always put my coat in the secretarys office.
If I need money for the pop machine, I would take it out of dads office.
Brycen plays in dads office after the service.
Yea, the new pastor may frown on all of that.
Tomorrow, everything changes.
Its a very strange feeling knowing that something big is about to happen in your life.
Its almost like I have butterflies in my stomach.
I can't imagine how it must feel for the rest of the family.
But, in a way, it may actually be an easy transition for them.
For steph and josh, Milford church is their home.
YES it is going to be weird for them.
But, they both hold leadership position.
Mom and dad may be leaving but they aren't losing Milford.
For mom and dad, yes, Milford was their home.
Their church family
Infact, some of the congregation became as close as family.
But, it was also a job.
This job is over, and its time to move on to a new one.
They are going to start at a new church, meet new people, develop new relationships
But at the same time, they will still have the people of Milford.
They may lose contact with a few but for the most part, they will keep the ones that have made a big impact on them.
Everyone still has connections.
I just feel like I don't.
Going to Milford wasn't my job. Yet, I never made the effort to get involved.
I regret that now
It wasn't my job yet I think I just always played the pastors daughter role.
Now, we go to Goshen.
I want to get involved.
I NEED to get involved.
And slowly I am.
Even if it is just a Sunday school.
Thats one thing I have committed to.
And, as time goes, I will commit to more.
And honestly, that may be easier to do now.
When your dad is the pastor of a church 15 miles away, its very easy to hop back and forth.
Its very easy to go to his church for special occasions and holidays.
Its very easy to go to so Brycen can see Barb
Now, Goshen is it.
Will we go to dads new church when he finds one?
Sure.
Will it be as much as we went to Milford?
No.
I don't handle change well.
And this just seems like a big change.
I am pretty sure tomorrow is going to be pretty rough.
I know its a celebration, but its also an end to something very big.
Its the end to the last 17 years of my life...
