And just like that...

Sunday morning my alarms went off at 7:30 and I jumped right out of bed to go bring them downstairs. We had breakfast, we got dressed and we were to Goshen 1st Brethren by 8:50am. By 8:52 I had already been given 3 hugs and it felt wonderful. We actually felt missed and that is an incredible feeling to have. We dropped the girls in the nursery and headed towards the sanctuary. More hugs, more handshakes, more "it's so nice to see you". We picked out a seat and the service began. Pdrex got up to announce it was time to meet and greet and the first words out of his mouth were "Brad and Britt are here today, along with Brycen and Braylee and Braycee" And then people came up and we got more handshakes and hugs....
The time came for the children's sermon and Brycen ran right up front. It was his very first children sermon at this church. Howie was caught a bit off guard and made the comment about how weird it was because Brycen was his first "youth kid" to be upfront *howie was brads youth leader growing up*
After the service, we went to pick up the girls from the nursery and were told they were bringing in reinforcements for the Sunday School hour and that they would be in good hands. We took Brycen to Sunday school and found out they were ringing bells next week and he gets to be a part of it.
More hugs, more handshakes and we went up to Sunday School. We jumped right in.
and it felt RIGHT
After the service we went to eat with the Parkers and we got caught up on each others lives and just like that, we were back....

There was no trying to fit in.
There was no uncomfortableness.
There was no guilty feeling for going to a different Brethren Church.

It felt right.
It felt good.
It felt like home.

Isn't that EXACTLY how church is supposed to feel?

Is it going to be extremely difficult to no longer be a part of Milford 1st Brethren church?
YES
Is it going to be super weird not having my dad be my pastor?
YES
Did God make is SUPER easy to find a new church family though?
YES
Is this EXACTLY what our family needs right now?
YES

I got a very insightful email from another pastor's daughter who has gone through a similiar situation, her dad leaving his church after several years and she said how God works in seasons and at times, things must come to an end but God has something better waiting for us.

I really believe thats true. I really think God has great things planned for Mom and Dad and Steph and Josh and for Brad and I.
I can't wait to see what it is!!

"O, your ___________'s kid"

When I was born I was given the identity of Brittany. When I was 5, I gained another identity. I gained the identity of Billy's kid. It usually just was said on Sunday mornings during church. Then, as I grew up and was old enough to start attending camp, conference, retreats, really anything that pertained to the Brethren Church, my identity of "Billy's kid" followed me wherever I want.
The conversation always went the same
"So, what church are you from?"
"My dad is the pastor at Milford 1st Brethren"
"O, your Billy's kid!"

Or I would be introduced.
"This is Brittany. Her dad is Billy. you know, Billy Hesketh right?"

Then when I got older I started to go to Goshen Church. Even there. The question would come up
"So, what church did you come from?"
"O, my dad actually preaches at Milford 1st Brethren"
"Ok, so your dad is Billy"

There are numerous different conversations that have taken place in life that always ended up with
"O, your Billy's kid"

And you know what, that used to bug me. I would have LOVED to me known for me. That people would know who I was without being linked to someone else.

But, Sunday, when dad announced his resignation, all I could think of is......now who am I?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my identity of
"Brittany. wife of Brad. mother of the Brosamer Kids" Forever and for always I get that identity. But, its hard to lose a part of yourself that you have had for almost 20 years.

I don't have any role at Milford. We started going to another church on occasion back in July. We didn't go weekly. Infact, we kind of split it 50/50. But now, once dad leaves, I don't have a reason to go back to Milford. Steph and Josh are in charge of a lot at Milford so although it may be hard for them to continue there, they at least have a place.

We don't

I can't go back to my dads church when it is no longer his church. Does that mean I am going to lose all of those connections?

I know I will never lose the chupps connection. But, what about everyone else?
I went to the church for 17 years. Granted, I did go to Goshen 1st Brethren for awhile, but I still went to Milford events and the occasional Sunday. But I'm pretty sure those days will be over once dad is gone.
Milford congregation is like family.
and now the family is.....gone? Just like that??
So, I lose my identity as Billy's kid and then I lose people who I have grown up with

Not only that but now I have to grow up. I HAVE to get myself involved in a new church. Not just GO to another church but actually get INVOLVED with another church. I was given a great church family to grow up with. My kids deserve the same.
That starts all sorts of new questions. I really like the church we are going to now. Its big, its contemporary, a great childrens program for Brycen and then for the girls as they grow up but I need to decide if that is the type of church I want my children to know as their home church. Is that a church that I can go get involved with, go to events, maybe even serve on a ministry? I need to grow up and become a member of a church. My role up to this point has been pastors kid. I went to things because I was the pastors daughter. I don't have that attachment anymore.

I know where I need to go. I think I have known all along. Time to grow up and take the jump.