Monday, November 14, 2011

"O, your ___________'s kid"

When I was born I was given the identity of Brittany. When I was 5, I gained another identity. I gained the identity of Billy's kid. It usually just was said on Sunday mornings during church. Then, as I grew up and was old enough to start attending camp, conference, retreats, really anything that pertained to the Brethren Church, my identity of "Billy's kid" followed me wherever I want.
The conversation always went the same
"So, what church are you from?"
"My dad is the pastor at Milford 1st Brethren"
"O, your Billy's kid!"

Or I would be introduced.
"This is Brittany. Her dad is Billy. you know, Billy Hesketh right?"

Then when I got older I started to go to Goshen Church. Even there. The question would come up
"So, what church did you come from?"
"O, my dad actually preaches at Milford 1st Brethren"
"Ok, so your dad is Billy"

There are numerous different conversations that have taken place in life that always ended up with
"O, your Billy's kid"

And you know what, that used to bug me. I would have LOVED to me known for me. That people would know who I was without being linked to someone else.

But, Sunday, when dad announced his resignation, all I could think of is......now who am I?

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my identity of
"Brittany. wife of Brad. mother of the Brosamer Kids" Forever and for always I get that identity. But, its hard to lose a part of yourself that you have had for almost 20 years.

I don't have any role at Milford. We started going to another church on occasion back in July. We didn't go weekly. Infact, we kind of split it 50/50. But now, once dad leaves, I don't have a reason to go back to Milford. Steph and Josh are in charge of a lot at Milford so although it may be hard for them to continue there, they at least have a place.

We don't

I can't go back to my dads church when it is no longer his church. Does that mean I am going to lose all of those connections?

I know I will never lose the chupps connection. But, what about everyone else?
I went to the church for 17 years. Granted, I did go to Goshen 1st Brethren for awhile, but I still went to Milford events and the occasional Sunday. But I'm pretty sure those days will be over once dad is gone.
Milford congregation is like family.
and now the family is.....gone? Just like that??
So, I lose my identity as Billy's kid and then I lose people who I have grown up with

Not only that but now I have to grow up. I HAVE to get myself involved in a new church. Not just GO to another church but actually get INVOLVED with another church. I was given a great church family to grow up with. My kids deserve the same.
That starts all sorts of new questions. I really like the church we are going to now. Its big, its contemporary, a great childrens program for Brycen and then for the girls as they grow up but I need to decide if that is the type of church I want my children to know as their home church. Is that a church that I can go get involved with, go to events, maybe even serve on a ministry? I need to grow up and become a member of a church. My role up to this point has been pastors kid. I went to things because I was the pastors daughter. I don't have that attachment anymore.

I know where I need to go. I think I have known all along. Time to grow up and take the jump.

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