Short, sweet, and to the point. We trick or treat and still love Jesus.

I know this may be a shock to some people but, my kids are going trick or treating.
And they still love Jesus!!

Yes, its true, you can enjoy Halloween and still love Jesus.

Why does Halloween have to be considered the anti-Christmas?
We aren't Satan worshippers.
We don't invite people over to talk to the dead.

We dress our kids up and they walk around the neighborhood saying "trick or treat" and then we put them to bed and eat their chocolate and leave them the rest.

Its just a fun night out for our kids.
Why can't things just be left simple.
There doesnt have to be a hidden motive behind things.

This IS such a thing as dumb questions.

I can walk into a store in a good mood and leave wanting to kick a stranger in the shins all over one simple conversation.....

And that conversation always starts with the same...three...words.

"Are they twins?"

Seriously? I mean, come on. Are you SERIOUSLY asking that question?
No, they aren't twins. Infact, 2 different dads. One black and one white. My black little girl is just REALLY light colored.

"Both Girls?"
Nope, I like to dress my little boy in pink just like his older but shorter sister

COME ON PEOPLE!!
Don't be dumb.

If 2 kids walk into a store that are the same age, the same height, dressed the exact same 99% of the time they are gonna be twins!

And honestly? Why do people even have to stop and ask me questions?
When I go to the store with just Brycen no body stops and asks me a million questions.
Nobody spends 2 min telling me about how their 2nd cousin once removed has a little boy his age.

(Im not trying to sounds rude or anti people, but this series of questions happens EVERY SINGLE TIME I go somewhere)

And then, some people take it even farther which makes me want to kick them even harder.

"So is having twins as hard as it seems?
..
.....
........
..........
gee. not at all. This has all been a breeze. 2 bottles and 2 diapers at the same time, piece of cake. 2 screaming children is every mothers dream. I love having 2 three year old attitudes at the same time.

"I always wanted twins."
shut up. no you didn't. You may have THOUGHT you wanted twins but you just wanted the CONCEPT of twins. You didn't want double the dr appointments, double to preschool expenses, double the car seats, double EVERYTHING.

"Wow, they look alike! Obviously you don't have a problem telling them apart though"
Of course I don't. Because when God blesses you with twins, he also gives you a magical power to be able to tell 2 people that look  EXACTLY alike apart. Wasn't that nice of him??

Think before you speak people.
Or just don't speak.


(I know this was a very rude, and probably out of line blog post but I am having a very stressful night. I can't tell my daughters apart and it is the most frustrating thing in the world. This was supposed to be getting easier. Not harder.)

Santa and the Tooth Fairy are Real in Our House

Brycen lost his 1st tooth last night. I have never seen him so excited. Not only because he lost a tooth, but because that meant the tooth fairy was coming to our house!!

Yes, in our house, the tooth fairy is real.
And so is Santa.

Never for a single second did I ever consider NOT letting my kids believe in those 2 things.

"BUT YOUR JUST LYING TO KIDS!!"

Yep, guess I am. And guess what? I lied to the girls today when I told them the picture they drew looked just like me and daddy when in reality they were just squiggly lines.

In our house, we sometimes lie to our kids.
Its part of parenting!!
It would KILL them if we honestly told them exactly what we thought.

"No, your not singing on key"
"No, your not the fastest kid I've ever seen"
"No, I can't tell that's a boat in your picture"
"And by the way, Santa isn't real and all that's going to happen when you lose a tooth is we are going to replace it with money from the money jar"

Now, I'm NOT saying we never give them constructive criticism.
At one of Brycens soccer games, he played bad. Just down right bad. He didn't run. He didn't participate. He barely touched the ball. When he asked us how he did, we told him that. Because HE knew he could do better and because we had SEEN him do better. He doesn't get to slack off and us still treat him like he's the best player ever.
Now that he knows how to color in the lines, we don't let him scribble all over a picture and then praise him for his coloring skills.

When the girls 1st started counting, they would go "1,2,9" and we would clap and hug them and tell them they did so good. Not because they counted right but because they said numbers and attempted. Now that they are learning to count and we have heard Braycee count to 5, "1,2,9" isn't going to be praised.

As our kids grow up, we will become more and more honest with them. But right now? Why break spirits? Why crush them when we can tell they are trying so hard at something and so proud of something? Why not let them believe in Santa and the tooth fairy?

What harm is it doing having Brycen think the tooth fairy appears in his room once he's asleep and gives him money? Heck, this tooth fairy may get him to clean his room! Along with the money she wrote him a note telling him next time to have his bed less messy and I GUARENTEE next time, all that will be on his bed is a blanket and a pillow :)

Down the road when they find out the truth about Santa, are we going to continue to lie and say he's real? No. One day, they will all find out the truth. But why take away that excitement now? Why not let them believe that their behavior affects what they get? Why not let them think carefully about what they want on their list and let them be SO excited to go sit on his lap and give him that list they worked on so hard.
Yes, my kids believe in Santa.
But guess what, ask Brycen what Christmas is and 9 out of 10 times he will tell you Jesus' birthday.
He knows what Christmas is.
He knows the meaning behind it.
Santa isn't overshadowing Jesus.

Our kids are kids. They are going to be kids. It seems like parents lately think their kids need to be exposed to the ways of the world at such a young age.

I have no idea how I will explain to them why we lied about Santa and the tooth fairy but ya know? I would rather them get sad with me for a couple min than to miss out on the magic of being a kid.

Twins are mind boggling.

When I was pregnant with the girls, we were told the entire pregnancy that the girls were fraternal. They were in 2 separate sacs and majority of the time, that means not identical. It wasn't until after they were born and after they tested the placenta that we found out they were actually identical. Turns out my egg just split very early on in the pregnancy that they were able to form their own sacs. They were still only 1 egg at 5 weeks (my 1st ultrasound) but by 8 weeks, they were 2.

When I found out I was having twins, I figured it would probably be a good idea to start doing some research since I knew NOTHING about twins. Sure, I grew up with a set of twins that I was super close with, but asides from them looking kind of similar, I didn't know much about them.

So, what I know so far.

-  My girls are indeed identical. They are from the same egg. We were very fortunate they split early and developed 2 separate sacs because it lowered the risk of twin-twin transfusion.

- They have identical DNA. Because of that, they were actually fingerprinted at the hospital (yes, they are already in a file) The reasoning is because, down the road if something were to happen, they can't be identified by DNA alone. Their fingerprints though are SLIGHTLY different

- They will have difficulties their entire life with important documentation because, their genius mother named them so similarly.
We had a HUGE mix up when they were born. There were obviously 2 birth confirmations that needed filled out. However, the hospital only sent 1 in to the social security office and then a few days later sent in the other one. When their numbers got issued, we noticed they were both issued the exact same number!! After speaking with the social security office, we found out that as a safety precaution, any identification system can only keep 1 person of the same gender with the exact same birthday, same last name, and same first 3 letters of their name in the system at once. So what happened was, the hospital sent Braycee's confirmation 1st. She got issued a number. Then a couple days later they sent in Braylees and the system overwrote Braycee's and issued Braylee her number instead. It took MONTHS to figure this out. So,  for the 1st 6 month of her life, legally Braycee didn't exist. We were also issued 2 birth certificates with the same name so that had to be corrected as well. The s.s. office HIGHLY suggested that we have their s.s. # written down in numerous locations because if one of them ever loses it and needs a new card, this whole mess will start all over again.

-Twins can be creepy. I had read stories about identical twins sharing a very strange connection but I never bought it. Until the girls were about 6 months old. Braycee was laying on the floor and Braylee was in the other room. Brad accidently stepped on Braycee and INSTANTLY Braylee started screaming in pain. It was weird!! And I would love to say it was just a coincidence but it has happened several times since. They even seem to share nightmares. They will both start screaming in the middle of the night at the exact same time.

-They are on the same schedule. That is totally our doing but its so nice! They get hungry at the exact same time and they have to use the bathroom at the exact same time.

-They have to be near each other. We have yet to try to see what it will be like with them away from each other for a long period of time. We have done out in public for about an hr and that doesn't go over well. They long to be together.

-They have their own language. It was very obvious when they were a bit younger. It was pretty creepy! Now they use more actual words though so that's nice!

So far, that's all I know!
I still have SO many questions and SO much research to do!

Will they be the same height?
Will their hair be the same color/thickness when it grows back in?
Will they share the same athletic/academic abilities?
Will they have the same allergies?

Twins are the true test of nature vs nurture. This is gonna be a pretty cool lifelong research project!!

We come from different backgrounds...

Today was our 6 year anniversary. We had a nice relaxing day. We went to church, Brycen played football, we ordered Chinese food, napped, and watching football all day. It was the perfect day! The best part of the day? A short conversation we had when we were leaving church. We were stopped by a lady at the church and she told us she wanted us to know how good our children were. She told us she thought we were amazing parents, especially being so young. Then she asked a question that has stuck with me since.

"How did you learn how to parent so well? Did you grow up with good examples?"

Well, yea. We did!

Brad and I came from 2 totally different backgrounds.
I was raised in a Christian home with 2 very Godly parents.
There was always a parent home when we left for school and for the most part, always one when we got home.
My parents always came to our school events and sporting events. Every parent teacher conference and every piano recital.
We took family vacations and saw our extended family quite a bit for the distance there was between us.

I came from a family where there just isn't divorce. My parents have been happily married for 28 years, my grandparents for over 50.

So yes, it is easy for me to say I grew up with good examples.

I don't know all the details about Brads past but I know it was much different than mine.

His mom raised him and his brother. He didn't have a relationship with his dad, who ended up dying while he was in highschool.
His mom was CONSTANTLY having to work to provide for her family so there was no one at home when he woke up in the mornings.
He did have a step dad for a few years but that wasn't a great relationship for him either and once that marriage was over, Amy went back to having to provide for her boys and raise them on her own.
He has a HUGE family, some of whom he doesn't even know.
He has some aunts and uncles that he hasn't seen in 10 + years.

And just as easy as it is for me to say I grew up with good examples, so did he.

Our parents raised us COMPLETELY different but they all provided their own good examples in different ways.

And just like we were raised completely different, we are finding we tend to parent in different ways. There are going to LOTS of arguments over the years when it come to discipline and how we handle different situations.

The ONE MAIN THING we both got growing up though was unconditional love and as long as that is the ONE MAIN THING we both show our kids, then I think we are going to be ok.

This whole parenting thing is going to be such a learning experience. I just pray that in 20-25 years someone can ask my kids the question we were asked today and they can smile and say the same thing :)

A parenting frustration...

Talking with a friend the other day got me to thinking.

We were talking about how frustrating it is when parents don't discipline their children.

Now let me 1st stop and say, I am sure there are LOTS of people out there who don't agree with how our kids are raised. They probably don't think we discipline nearly enough or maybe we discipline too much.
Every single parents raises their children in a different way. TO AN EXTENT there is no right or wrong way to raise them.

So what are you supposed to do when you encounter a family who raises their kids differently then you do?

We have often found ourselves in the situation where our kids and the kids they are playing with are completely different.

Obviously you can't discipline other peoples children but at the same time, how are you supposed to discipline your kids in that situation?

Ok.
This isn't making sense.
I have deleted and retyped this over and over and I STILL don't think I am making sense.
Time for an example.

We are over at a friends house and the kids are all playing. The child they are playing with is being very aggressive and has decided she wants the toy my daughter is playing with, so she takes it.

Her mother just laughs shrugs her shoulders and says "kids"
My daughter is now crying because the toy she was playing with was forced out of her hands.

Now, in my house? If someone takes away a toy, its timeout time. They are made to give the toy back and say sorry.

Obviously, I can't put any one else's kid in time out.
So what do you to?

This is an actually question because I have no idea!!

My kids are made to sit quietly at church. What happens when other kids talk to them?
Out to eat our kids are to sit quietly and color. What happens when we go out with friends and their kids are allowed to run around?
To ANY adult our kids are to be respectful and polite. What happens when other kids around them don't act in the same way?

This whole new attitude of kids being allowed to be "free spirited' or "kids will be kids" kind of makes parenting hard.

My kids are NOT brought up that up. They talk back to us? You better believe they will get a flick in the head and put in time out wherever we are (so far we havn't been anywhere that doesn't have a corner)

This whole parenting thing is much more difficult than I thought it would be. It would be so much easier if every kid was raised the same way as mine but lets face it, there may just be more bald headed daughters and sons who know how to work electronics WAY too well!!

Our biggest decision yet...

We got the confirmation today that we are OFFICIALLY in the La Casa program! Yippee! We knew we would be but we had to wait till all of Brads paystubs were turned in. They are all in, the numbers are crunched, and we are in!

For those who don't know what the La Casa program in, here it is.

It is for low- middle income families in Elkhart County. We put money into an account and then take several classes. Some financial classes and some 1st time home buyer classes. Then, we take out a micro loan to help build our credit. The nice thing about this loan is everything we pay in, we get back at the end of the 6 months. Finally, once we have passed our classes and fixed our credit score, they match the money in our account 4:1 and BAM! Down payment!!
They will also meet with mortgage brokers with us and hold our hand through the entire process to make sure we are making all wise decisions.
Its a great program. Friends of ours used it and now have an amazing home. Come this time next year, so will we :)

Its a great feeling knowing that we are going to have our own home. Never in a million years did we think we would be getting one already.

We have come a long ways.

When we had Brycen we were living in a cement basement. We then upgraded to a super tiny apartment. Once we had the girls we outgrew it and moved to a very run down townhouse that had a whole lot of issues.
Now, we are in an amazing townhouse in a great area. But, after 5 years of renting, we have decided we would SO much rather our rent being going towards our own home. We are coming up on 6 years of marriage and in that 6 years, we have spent $35,000 on rent and what do we have to show for it? Nothing.

But soon we will.

Soon we will have a place to call our home.
And, what's awesome is Brad and I are on the same page about what we want. And what we want is ONE home. We are done having kids. We are a family of 5 and we want ONE place to call our home. in 30 years we want to be sitting in the same living room that we will be purchasing next year.

Now I know that things come up. Jobs can get changed, life can get turned upside down but if everything goes as we want it to go, we want this house to be it. Some people like to purchase a home and know going in that it isn't forever. We want a forever home.

And that's scary.
Its hard to even attempt to think about what life will be like 10 years down the road.

So we have a lot of thinking to do.
A lot of planning to do.

Sure now it would be nice to have everything on one floor but goodness gracious we are NOT going to want that when we have 3 teenagers.

Sure right now I don't need some big kitchen since I hardly cook but what if that changes?

Sure right now we don't need to have 2 bedrooms for the girls but are we really going to want them to be forced into sharing a room when they are 16? I know my sister and I would have KILLED each other if we shared a room.

So much thought has to go into our home.

This is going to be by far the biggest, most important decision of our life.
I do believe this is going to officially label us as adults!

So, our home buying journey has begun. Let the fun/stress/emotions begin!!