When I was pregnant with the girls, we were told the entire pregnancy that the girls were fraternal. They were in 2 separate sacs and majority of the time, that means not identical. It wasn't until after they were born and after they tested the placenta that we found out they were actually identical. Turns out my egg just split very early on in the pregnancy that they were able to form their own sacs. They were still only 1 egg at 5 weeks (my 1st ultrasound) but by 8 weeks, they were 2.
When I found out I was having twins, I figured it would probably be a good idea to start doing some research since I knew NOTHING about twins. Sure, I grew up with a set of twins that I was super close with, but asides from them looking kind of similar, I didn't know much about them.
So, what I know so far.
- My girls are indeed identical. They are from the same egg. We were very fortunate they split early and developed 2 separate sacs because it lowered the risk of twin-twin transfusion.
- They have identical DNA. Because of that, they were actually fingerprinted at the hospital (yes, they are already in a file) The reasoning is because, down the road if something were to happen, they can't be identified by DNA alone. Their fingerprints though are SLIGHTLY different
- They will have difficulties their entire life with important documentation because, their genius mother named them so similarly.
We had a HUGE mix up when they were born. There were obviously 2 birth confirmations that needed filled out. However, the hospital only sent 1 in to the social security office and then a few days later sent in the other one. When their numbers got issued, we noticed they were both issued the exact same number!! After speaking with the social security office, we found out that as a safety precaution, any identification system can only keep 1 person of the same gender with the exact same birthday, same last name, and same first 3 letters of their name in the system at once. So what happened was, the hospital sent Braycee's confirmation 1st. She got issued a number. Then a couple days later they sent in Braylees and the system overwrote Braycee's and issued Braylee her number instead. It took MONTHS to figure this out. So, for the 1st 6 month of her life, legally Braycee didn't exist. We were also issued 2 birth certificates with the same name so that had to be corrected as well. The s.s. office HIGHLY suggested that we have their s.s. # written down in numerous locations because if one of them ever loses it and needs a new card, this whole mess will start all over again.
-Twins can be creepy. I had read stories about identical twins sharing a very strange connection but I never bought it. Until the girls were about 6 months old. Braycee was laying on the floor and Braylee was in the other room. Brad accidently stepped on Braycee and INSTANTLY Braylee started screaming in pain. It was weird!! And I would love to say it was just a coincidence but it has happened several times since. They even seem to share nightmares. They will both start screaming in the middle of the night at the exact same time.
-They are on the same schedule. That is totally our doing but its so nice! They get hungry at the exact same time and they have to use the bathroom at the exact same time.
-They have to be near each other. We have yet to try to see what it will be like with them away from each other for a long period of time. We have done out in public for about an hr and that doesn't go over well. They long to be together.
-They have their own language. It was very obvious when they were a bit younger. It was pretty creepy! Now they use more actual words though so that's nice!
So far, that's all I know!
I still have SO many questions and SO much research to do!
Will they be the same height?
Will their hair be the same color/thickness when it grows back in?
Will they share the same athletic/academic abilities?
Will they have the same allergies?
Twins are the true test of nature vs nurture. This is gonna be a pretty cool lifelong research project!!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
We come from different backgrounds...
Today was our 6 year anniversary. We had a nice relaxing day. We went to church, Brycen played football, we ordered Chinese food, napped, and watching football all day. It was the perfect day! The best part of the day? A short conversation we had when we were leaving church. We were stopped by a lady at the church and she told us she wanted us to know how good our children were. She told us she thought we were amazing parents, especially being so young. Then she asked a question that has stuck with me since.
"How did you learn how to parent so well? Did you grow up with good examples?"
Well, yea. We did!
Brad and I came from 2 totally different backgrounds.
I was raised in a Christian home with 2 very Godly parents.
There was always a parent home when we left for school and for the most part, always one when we got home.
My parents always came to our school events and sporting events. Every parent teacher conference and every piano recital.
We took family vacations and saw our extended family quite a bit for the distance there was between us.
I came from a family where there just isn't divorce. My parents have been happily married for 28 years, my grandparents for over 50.
So yes, it is easy for me to say I grew up with good examples.
I don't know all the details about Brads past but I know it was much different than mine.
His mom raised him and his brother. He didn't have a relationship with his dad, who ended up dying while he was in highschool.
His mom was CONSTANTLY having to work to provide for her family so there was no one at home when he woke up in the mornings.
He did have a step dad for a few years but that wasn't a great relationship for him either and once that marriage was over, Amy went back to having to provide for her boys and raise them on her own.
He has a HUGE family, some of whom he doesn't even know.
He has some aunts and uncles that he hasn't seen in 10 + years.
And just as easy as it is for me to say I grew up with good examples, so did he.
Our parents raised us COMPLETELY different but they all provided their own good examples in different ways.
And just like we were raised completely different, we are finding we tend to parent in different ways. There are going to LOTS of arguments over the years when it come to discipline and how we handle different situations.
The ONE MAIN THING we both got growing up though was unconditional love and as long as that is the ONE MAIN THING we both show our kids, then I think we are going to be ok.
This whole parenting thing is going to be such a learning experience. I just pray that in 20-25 years someone can ask my kids the question we were asked today and they can smile and say the same thing :)
"How did you learn how to parent so well? Did you grow up with good examples?"
Well, yea. We did!
Brad and I came from 2 totally different backgrounds.
I was raised in a Christian home with 2 very Godly parents.
There was always a parent home when we left for school and for the most part, always one when we got home.
My parents always came to our school events and sporting events. Every parent teacher conference and every piano recital.
We took family vacations and saw our extended family quite a bit for the distance there was between us.
I came from a family where there just isn't divorce. My parents have been happily married for 28 years, my grandparents for over 50.
So yes, it is easy for me to say I grew up with good examples.
I don't know all the details about Brads past but I know it was much different than mine.
His mom raised him and his brother. He didn't have a relationship with his dad, who ended up dying while he was in highschool.
His mom was CONSTANTLY having to work to provide for her family so there was no one at home when he woke up in the mornings.
He did have a step dad for a few years but that wasn't a great relationship for him either and once that marriage was over, Amy went back to having to provide for her boys and raise them on her own.
He has a HUGE family, some of whom he doesn't even know.
He has some aunts and uncles that he hasn't seen in 10 + years.
And just as easy as it is for me to say I grew up with good examples, so did he.
Our parents raised us COMPLETELY different but they all provided their own good examples in different ways.
And just like we were raised completely different, we are finding we tend to parent in different ways. There are going to LOTS of arguments over the years when it come to discipline and how we handle different situations.
The ONE MAIN THING we both got growing up though was unconditional love and as long as that is the ONE MAIN THING we both show our kids, then I think we are going to be ok.
This whole parenting thing is going to be such a learning experience. I just pray that in 20-25 years someone can ask my kids the question we were asked today and they can smile and say the same thing :)
Saturday, September 28, 2013
A parenting frustration...
Talking with a friend the other day got me to thinking.
We were talking about how frustrating it is when parents don't discipline their children.
Now let me 1st stop and say, I am sure there are LOTS of people out there who don't agree with how our kids are raised. They probably don't think we discipline nearly enough or maybe we discipline too much.
Every single parents raises their children in a different way. TO AN EXTENT there is no right or wrong way to raise them.
So what are you supposed to do when you encounter a family who raises their kids differently then you do?
We have often found ourselves in the situation where our kids and the kids they are playing with are completely different.
Obviously you can't discipline other peoples children but at the same time, how are you supposed to discipline your kids in that situation?
Ok.
This isn't making sense.
I have deleted and retyped this over and over and I STILL don't think I am making sense.
Time for an example.
We are over at a friends house and the kids are all playing. The child they are playing with is being very aggressive and has decided she wants the toy my daughter is playing with, so she takes it.
Her mother just laughs shrugs her shoulders and says "kids"
My daughter is now crying because the toy she was playing with was forced out of her hands.
Now, in my house? If someone takes away a toy, its timeout time. They are made to give the toy back and say sorry.
Obviously, I can't put any one else's kid in time out.
So what do you to?
This is an actually question because I have no idea!!
My kids are made to sit quietly at church. What happens when other kids talk to them?
Out to eat our kids are to sit quietly and color. What happens when we go out with friends and their kids are allowed to run around?
To ANY adult our kids are to be respectful and polite. What happens when other kids around them don't act in the same way?
This whole new attitude of kids being allowed to be "free spirited' or "kids will be kids" kind of makes parenting hard.
My kids are NOT brought up that up. They talk back to us? You better believe they will get a flick in the head and put in time out wherever we are (so far we havn't been anywhere that doesn't have a corner)
This whole parenting thing is much more difficult than I thought it would be. It would be so much easier if every kid was raised the same way as mine but lets face it, there may just be more bald headed daughters and sons who know how to work electronics WAY too well!!
We were talking about how frustrating it is when parents don't discipline their children.
Now let me 1st stop and say, I am sure there are LOTS of people out there who don't agree with how our kids are raised. They probably don't think we discipline nearly enough or maybe we discipline too much.
Every single parents raises their children in a different way. TO AN EXTENT there is no right or wrong way to raise them.
So what are you supposed to do when you encounter a family who raises their kids differently then you do?
We have often found ourselves in the situation where our kids and the kids they are playing with are completely different.
Obviously you can't discipline other peoples children but at the same time, how are you supposed to discipline your kids in that situation?
Ok.
This isn't making sense.
I have deleted and retyped this over and over and I STILL don't think I am making sense.
Time for an example.
We are over at a friends house and the kids are all playing. The child they are playing with is being very aggressive and has decided she wants the toy my daughter is playing with, so she takes it.
Her mother just laughs shrugs her shoulders and says "kids"
My daughter is now crying because the toy she was playing with was forced out of her hands.
Now, in my house? If someone takes away a toy, its timeout time. They are made to give the toy back and say sorry.
Obviously, I can't put any one else's kid in time out.
So what do you to?
This is an actually question because I have no idea!!
My kids are made to sit quietly at church. What happens when other kids talk to them?
Out to eat our kids are to sit quietly and color. What happens when we go out with friends and their kids are allowed to run around?
To ANY adult our kids are to be respectful and polite. What happens when other kids around them don't act in the same way?
This whole new attitude of kids being allowed to be "free spirited' or "kids will be kids" kind of makes parenting hard.
My kids are NOT brought up that up. They talk back to us? You better believe they will get a flick in the head and put in time out wherever we are (so far we havn't been anywhere that doesn't have a corner)
This whole parenting thing is much more difficult than I thought it would be. It would be so much easier if every kid was raised the same way as mine but lets face it, there may just be more bald headed daughters and sons who know how to work electronics WAY too well!!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Our biggest decision yet...
We got the confirmation today that we are OFFICIALLY in the La Casa program! Yippee! We knew we would be but we had to wait till all of Brads paystubs were turned in. They are all in, the numbers are crunched, and we are in!
For those who don't know what the La Casa program in, here it is.
It is for low- middle income families in Elkhart County. We put money into an account and then take several classes. Some financial classes and some 1st time home buyer classes. Then, we take out a micro loan to help build our credit. The nice thing about this loan is everything we pay in, we get back at the end of the 6 months. Finally, once we have passed our classes and fixed our credit score, they match the money in our account 4:1 and BAM! Down payment!!
They will also meet with mortgage brokers with us and hold our hand through the entire process to make sure we are making all wise decisions.
Its a great program. Friends of ours used it and now have an amazing home. Come this time next year, so will we :)
Its a great feeling knowing that we are going to have our own home. Never in a million years did we think we would be getting one already.
We have come a long ways.
When we had Brycen we were living in a cement basement. We then upgraded to a super tiny apartment. Once we had the girls we outgrew it and moved to a very run down townhouse that had a whole lot of issues.
Now, we are in an amazing townhouse in a great area. But, after 5 years of renting, we have decided we would SO much rather our rent being going towards our own home. We are coming up on 6 years of marriage and in that 6 years, we have spent $35,000 on rent and what do we have to show for it? Nothing.
But soon we will.
Soon we will have a place to call our home.
And, what's awesome is Brad and I are on the same page about what we want. And what we want is ONE home. We are done having kids. We are a family of 5 and we want ONE place to call our home. in 30 years we want to be sitting in the same living room that we will be purchasing next year.
Now I know that things come up. Jobs can get changed, life can get turned upside down but if everything goes as we want it to go, we want this house to be it. Some people like to purchase a home and know going in that it isn't forever. We want a forever home.
And that's scary.
Its hard to even attempt to think about what life will be like 10 years down the road.
So we have a lot of thinking to do.
A lot of planning to do.
Sure now it would be nice to have everything on one floor but goodness gracious we are NOT going to want that when we have 3 teenagers.
Sure right now I don't need some big kitchen since I hardly cook but what if that changes?
Sure right now we don't need to have 2 bedrooms for the girls but are we really going to want them to be forced into sharing a room when they are 16? I know my sister and I would have KILLED each other if we shared a room.
So much thought has to go into our home.
This is going to be by far the biggest, most important decision of our life.
I do believe this is going to officially label us as adults!
So, our home buying journey has begun. Let the fun/stress/emotions begin!!
For those who don't know what the La Casa program in, here it is.
It is for low- middle income families in Elkhart County. We put money into an account and then take several classes. Some financial classes and some 1st time home buyer classes. Then, we take out a micro loan to help build our credit. The nice thing about this loan is everything we pay in, we get back at the end of the 6 months. Finally, once we have passed our classes and fixed our credit score, they match the money in our account 4:1 and BAM! Down payment!!
They will also meet with mortgage brokers with us and hold our hand through the entire process to make sure we are making all wise decisions.
Its a great program. Friends of ours used it and now have an amazing home. Come this time next year, so will we :)
Its a great feeling knowing that we are going to have our own home. Never in a million years did we think we would be getting one already.
We have come a long ways.
When we had Brycen we were living in a cement basement. We then upgraded to a super tiny apartment. Once we had the girls we outgrew it and moved to a very run down townhouse that had a whole lot of issues.
Now, we are in an amazing townhouse in a great area. But, after 5 years of renting, we have decided we would SO much rather our rent being going towards our own home. We are coming up on 6 years of marriage and in that 6 years, we have spent $35,000 on rent and what do we have to show for it? Nothing.
But soon we will.
Soon we will have a place to call our home.
And, what's awesome is Brad and I are on the same page about what we want. And what we want is ONE home. We are done having kids. We are a family of 5 and we want ONE place to call our home. in 30 years we want to be sitting in the same living room that we will be purchasing next year.
Now I know that things come up. Jobs can get changed, life can get turned upside down but if everything goes as we want it to go, we want this house to be it. Some people like to purchase a home and know going in that it isn't forever. We want a forever home.
And that's scary.
Its hard to even attempt to think about what life will be like 10 years down the road.
So we have a lot of thinking to do.
A lot of planning to do.
Sure now it would be nice to have everything on one floor but goodness gracious we are NOT going to want that when we have 3 teenagers.
Sure right now I don't need some big kitchen since I hardly cook but what if that changes?
Sure right now we don't need to have 2 bedrooms for the girls but are we really going to want them to be forced into sharing a room when they are 16? I know my sister and I would have KILLED each other if we shared a room.
So much thought has to go into our home.
This is going to be by far the biggest, most important decision of our life.
I do believe this is going to officially label us as adults!
So, our home buying journey has begun. Let the fun/stress/emotions begin!!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Weight loss journey
January 8th in the middle of the night, I found myself eating almost an entire bag of chips while sitting on the couch watching tv. I looked beside me at my pop and around my trashed house and knew something needed to be done. NOW. I went into the bathroom and stepped on the scale and couldn't believe my eyes at what it read. Quickly I went to the kitchen and threw away all the junk food we had and threw away all of my pop. I made signs and hung them around my kitchen which had my weight written on them. I hung them on the fridge, and the cabinets. I also hung one on the mirror in the bathroom.
Grabbed my laptop and researched Atkins for hrs and that next morning, my weight loss journey began.
After I was confident that I could do it, I made a goal list. 1st goal being 20 lbs. Until I hit that mark, I wasn't allowing myself on facebook. I turned off my email notifications, I deleted my facebook app. I was going to follow through!!
I went strict. 3 liters of water every day and no more than 20 carbs a day. I weighed myself regularly and LOVED seeing the pounds just melt away.
Every night I did a walking video that about killed me.
It was amazing how quickly I saw results.
It was amazing how much better I started feeling!!
After the 1st couple months not only could see the results on the scale but I could also see them in how my clothes fit.
Once I hit the 40 lb mark I allowed myself to join a gym. Up till that point I refused to put any money into this. I know there are so many products out there that can help with weight loss but I wanted to be able to say I did this on my own.
Once I started the gym I went 6 days a week. It became an addiction.
All I could think about was my workout program and couldn't wait to go back the next day.
The gym because my #1 priority
I decided the gym just wasn't enough, so I added in a squat program.
I absolutely KILLED my legs but didn't care because I wanted to see results and I wanted to see them now.
I hit my 50 lb mark in 5 months and I felt wonderful.
It was time to leave on our family vacation and all I could think about was how many days I was going to miss at the gym and when was I going to be able to do my squats and what was I going to eat. Atkins is hard to follow when you don't have the food at your finger tips all day.
We got to Green bay, went out to eat, and we got a pizza.
Our whole family shared a pizza.
It was so good. The kids devoured it.
I got back to the hotel and did my squats while everyone was asleep and my legs were so sore the next day walking around Lambeau.
So the next day I took off from squats.
The next day I took off from atkins again too.
And the world didn't end.
2 days away from the gym and I survived.
Infact, I didn't stress it at all.
We had the PERFECT vacation and I was happy. I felt great walking all the time and not getting winded. I ran a little bit with our kids in the marathon.
I felt healthy!
Only half way to my "goal weight" and I felt amazing.
I got back from vacation and my weight loss addiction seemed to disappear.
Instead of going to the gym everyday and coming home sore and eating different food than my entire family, I just relaxed.
Unfortunately, my motivation is currently stalled.
I keep thinking back to how great it felt to be exercising and seeing the numbers go down but I just don't have that drive anymore. I KNOW it will come back (its starting to creep up already)
I have come to realize, my "goal weight" is just a number. And the sad thing is, its a number that I'm just assuming will instantly make me happy. But lets be honest, even once I hit it, I will still have self esteem issues.
So, I've changed my "goal weight".
Instead of it being a number, its going to be a feeling.
I want to feel healthy.
I want to feel alive.
I want to feel beautiful in my body
Right now, I'm there.
Yes, I have gained weight since I stopped my vigorous workout.
I have carb face again.
I am still severely overweight.
But, the new clothes I bought, they still fit.
I am no where NEAR my unhealthy eating habits I had back in January.
I don't get winded just walking up the stairs.
Do I still need to lose weight?
ABSOLUTELY!
But, do I need to make such drastic changes and compromises to do it?
No, I don't.
Right now, I really do need motivation to at least start back up again. That is always the hardest part.
I think that will come easy though once I can figure out how to lose weight without it becoming top priority of my life.
I can still use everyones support.
And I don't want ANYONE to think I have given up because I havn't
I will reach a healthy weight.
But I will do it while maintaining a clean house
spending as much time as I possibly can with my kids
enjoying life with my husband
My weight loss will NEVER be my #1 priority.
I will continue my lifestyle change of eating healthier and exercising more.
Will I hit my 100 lb goal by Christmas?
Probably not.
Chances are once the batteries die in the scale we have, I won't replace them.
The number on that scale does not matter.
As long as I can live my life and feel healthy and run around the yard with my kids, that's all that matters.
You also have my word though, those 50 lbs that I lost and kept off? That weight will NEVER come back. That part of me is dead and gone. :)
Grabbed my laptop and researched Atkins for hrs and that next morning, my weight loss journey began.
After I was confident that I could do it, I made a goal list. 1st goal being 20 lbs. Until I hit that mark, I wasn't allowing myself on facebook. I turned off my email notifications, I deleted my facebook app. I was going to follow through!!
I went strict. 3 liters of water every day and no more than 20 carbs a day. I weighed myself regularly and LOVED seeing the pounds just melt away.
Every night I did a walking video that about killed me.
It was amazing how quickly I saw results.
It was amazing how much better I started feeling!!
After the 1st couple months not only could see the results on the scale but I could also see them in how my clothes fit.
Once I hit the 40 lb mark I allowed myself to join a gym. Up till that point I refused to put any money into this. I know there are so many products out there that can help with weight loss but I wanted to be able to say I did this on my own.
Once I started the gym I went 6 days a week. It became an addiction.
All I could think about was my workout program and couldn't wait to go back the next day.
The gym because my #1 priority
I decided the gym just wasn't enough, so I added in a squat program.
I absolutely KILLED my legs but didn't care because I wanted to see results and I wanted to see them now.
I hit my 50 lb mark in 5 months and I felt wonderful.
It was time to leave on our family vacation and all I could think about was how many days I was going to miss at the gym and when was I going to be able to do my squats and what was I going to eat. Atkins is hard to follow when you don't have the food at your finger tips all day.
We got to Green bay, went out to eat, and we got a pizza.
Our whole family shared a pizza.
It was so good. The kids devoured it.
I got back to the hotel and did my squats while everyone was asleep and my legs were so sore the next day walking around Lambeau.
So the next day I took off from squats.
The next day I took off from atkins again too.
And the world didn't end.
2 days away from the gym and I survived.
Infact, I didn't stress it at all.
We had the PERFECT vacation and I was happy. I felt great walking all the time and not getting winded. I ran a little bit with our kids in the marathon.
I felt healthy!
Only half way to my "goal weight" and I felt amazing.
I got back from vacation and my weight loss addiction seemed to disappear.
Instead of going to the gym everyday and coming home sore and eating different food than my entire family, I just relaxed.
Unfortunately, my motivation is currently stalled.
I keep thinking back to how great it felt to be exercising and seeing the numbers go down but I just don't have that drive anymore. I KNOW it will come back (its starting to creep up already)
I have come to realize, my "goal weight" is just a number. And the sad thing is, its a number that I'm just assuming will instantly make me happy. But lets be honest, even once I hit it, I will still have self esteem issues.
So, I've changed my "goal weight".
Instead of it being a number, its going to be a feeling.
I want to feel healthy.
I want to feel alive.
I want to feel beautiful in my body
Right now, I'm there.
Yes, I have gained weight since I stopped my vigorous workout.
I have carb face again.
I am still severely overweight.
But, the new clothes I bought, they still fit.
I am no where NEAR my unhealthy eating habits I had back in January.
I don't get winded just walking up the stairs.
Do I still need to lose weight?
ABSOLUTELY!
But, do I need to make such drastic changes and compromises to do it?
No, I don't.
Right now, I really do need motivation to at least start back up again. That is always the hardest part.
I think that will come easy though once I can figure out how to lose weight without it becoming top priority of my life.
I can still use everyones support.
And I don't want ANYONE to think I have given up because I havn't
I will reach a healthy weight.
But I will do it while maintaining a clean house
spending as much time as I possibly can with my kids
enjoying life with my husband
My weight loss will NEVER be my #1 priority.
I will continue my lifestyle change of eating healthier and exercising more.
Will I hit my 100 lb goal by Christmas?
Probably not.
Chances are once the batteries die in the scale we have, I won't replace them.
The number on that scale does not matter.
As long as I can live my life and feel healthy and run around the yard with my kids, that's all that matters.
You also have my word though, those 50 lbs that I lost and kept off? That weight will NEVER come back. That part of me is dead and gone. :)
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I know its just hair. However,....
Today was a lousy day as most of you are aware of. For those of you who don't know, my baby girls are both now completely bald.
COMPLETELY
I spent 95% of my day in tears.
And at 1st I didn't know why I was crying.
I assumed it was because I was angry.
Or because it was just such a shock seeing them this morning.
But, as the day went on and I continued to see them out of the corner of my eye, it hit me why this is bothering me so bad.
Sure, its upsetting because I LOVED their hair.
I think the real reason though?
They look like they are sick.
Even though I KNOW they are perfectly healthy, I see those little round heads and can't help but picture them sick.
They seem skinnier
They seem fragile.
They seem much more pale because their heads are so stinken white.
And that causes me to cry.
Not only because they look sick but because it is a constant reminder that even though we were blessed with healthy children, there are children out there with no hair because they truly are sick.
Brycen had a soccer game tonight and so it was time for their 1st public outing with their new look. They don't have hats (that will be changing tomorrow) so they wore hoodies. I tried to get them to keep them up. Partly because I didn't want their head to get cold or to burn from the sun but also for a selfish reason.
I didn't want people to see their heads.
How awful is that?!?
I will be the 1st to admit, they are not the cutest kids in the world with bald heads. I have seen kids with no hair that are just so adorable. My daughters? their heads are oddly shaped.
But that's not the reason I didn't want people to see their heads.
I didn't want people to stare.
To think to themselves "those poor girls"
Ask anyone that has ever been in public with me and the twins, we get stopped 50 times when we go to the store and people comment on them, ask questions about them. Sure its super annoying but it had become the normal.
At the soccer game?
Not a single person said a single word to us.
A couple people smiled at them but even their smiles seemed to say "those poor sick little girls"
PRAISE THE LORD THEY AREN'T SICK!!
I wouldn't be able to handle sick kids.
I truly believe only the strongest parents in the world have sick children because God knows they have the strength to handle it.
I am not one of those parents.
And that showed tonight.
I'm sure this is just a complete rambling post. I know what I want to say but I am assuming its not coming across right.
To sum it up.
My daughters are healthy and it breaks my heart to see people ALREADY look at them and think they aren't.
They are still the same 2 loveable little girls they were 24 hrs ago and when they had their hair.
This will be a huge adjustment.
I know that sounds ridiculous because ITS JUST HAIR
but it is so much more than a bad hair cut.
Who knows how long it is going to take for me to get used to this.
I can tell you though, I am still not to the laughing stage and I think it will be quite awhile until I get there.
COMPLETELY
I spent 95% of my day in tears.
And at 1st I didn't know why I was crying.
I assumed it was because I was angry.
Or because it was just such a shock seeing them this morning.
But, as the day went on and I continued to see them out of the corner of my eye, it hit me why this is bothering me so bad.
Sure, its upsetting because I LOVED their hair.
I think the real reason though?
They look like they are sick.
Even though I KNOW they are perfectly healthy, I see those little round heads and can't help but picture them sick.
They seem skinnier
They seem fragile.
They seem much more pale because their heads are so stinken white.
And that causes me to cry.
Not only because they look sick but because it is a constant reminder that even though we were blessed with healthy children, there are children out there with no hair because they truly are sick.
Brycen had a soccer game tonight and so it was time for their 1st public outing with their new look. They don't have hats (that will be changing tomorrow) so they wore hoodies. I tried to get them to keep them up. Partly because I didn't want their head to get cold or to burn from the sun but also for a selfish reason.
I didn't want people to see their heads.
How awful is that?!?
I will be the 1st to admit, they are not the cutest kids in the world with bald heads. I have seen kids with no hair that are just so adorable. My daughters? their heads are oddly shaped.
But that's not the reason I didn't want people to see their heads.
I didn't want people to stare.
To think to themselves "those poor girls"
Ask anyone that has ever been in public with me and the twins, we get stopped 50 times when we go to the store and people comment on them, ask questions about them. Sure its super annoying but it had become the normal.
At the soccer game?
Not a single person said a single word to us.
A couple people smiled at them but even their smiles seemed to say "those poor sick little girls"
PRAISE THE LORD THEY AREN'T SICK!!
I wouldn't be able to handle sick kids.
I truly believe only the strongest parents in the world have sick children because God knows they have the strength to handle it.
I am not one of those parents.
And that showed tonight.
I'm sure this is just a complete rambling post. I know what I want to say but I am assuming its not coming across right.
To sum it up.
My daughters are healthy and it breaks my heart to see people ALREADY look at them and think they aren't.
They are still the same 2 loveable little girls they were 24 hrs ago and when they had their hair.
This will be a huge adjustment.
I know that sounds ridiculous because ITS JUST HAIR
but it is so much more than a bad hair cut.
Who knows how long it is going to take for me to get used to this.
I can tell you though, I am still not to the laughing stage and I think it will be quite awhile until I get there.
Monday, September 23, 2013
The Story of Brad and Brittany :)
Let me 1st start out by saying, I judge status' and posts like crazy. Just like I'm sure a lot of other people do, I attempt to read in between the lines of what everyone else says. Anytime anyone says about how much they love their life, or how amazing the significant other is, all I can think about is, is it sincere? Does that girl REALLY think her husband is the most amazing person in the world or is their life shattering before he eyes and she is trying to cover it up?
The only reason I bring this all up is to explain to you, that this post is not a "read in between the lines post" Its not a "my life is a mess and so I want to disguise it and make it seem better than it is" This post is simply about how I truly am the luckiest, most blessed person that I know.
And let me tell you why....
Because in 2006, I fell in love with a guy named Brad.
Me and this guy named Brad are going to be celebrating 6 years of marriage this coming Sunday and that has me thinking about our journey to this point.
Fair warning, it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies.
There have been some uphill battles.
There have been some poor decisions.
There have been a lot of learning experiences.
BUT
every single fight
every single tear
every single frustrating moment has gotten us to where we are.
AND IT HAS BEEN TOTALLY WORTH IT!!
Let me go back 7 years for those of you who don't know the Brad and Brittany story. (not to worry, even though I remember practically every step of the journey, I won't share the entire thing (although I will be sharing a lot). I mean, lets face it. I'm only 25. There are still parts of my life that will wait a few years to tell my parents about ;)
I've known of Brad for quite some time. I always knew him as "BRAD" though. "BRAD" the guy who was in charge of church retreats. He was always the center of attention. Majority of the girls my age had a crush on him. To me, and a lot of other people, he was one of the faces of the Brethren Youth.
My 1st encounter with Brad was at a big boot air band in Nappanee. There he was standing with a group of guys (a couple were my friends) I started talking to him about, who knows what and I asked him about the hat he was wearing. (North Carolina tarheels) I don't know how it happened, but I ended up with the hat. I PROMISED him I would give it to him at the next youth conference. My parents and sister can vouch for me, that hat was like a priced possession. I made sure nothing happened to it. I wore it all the time. And at that next conference, I gave it back.
And that was it.
It wasn't until a retreat though that I truly got to know him.
Feb of 2006 we were at a winter retreat. I was hanging out with an old friend of mine and we were getting ready to sneak out (typical night at camp Shipshewana. sorry Erica. sorry Rick. sorry mom!) There was a big group in the basement playing Risk and Emily and I were headed out the door. As we were leaving "BRAD" comes running through the lobby. I have no idea why she did it but Emmy asked if he wanted to come out with us. I don't know why he did it, but he said sure! (this was huge looking back now that I know how competitive my husband is. He quite a game of risk to hang out with us!)
So, we walked around.
We talked.
We got to know each other.
It was innocent.
It was harmless.
It was a night I knew I would never forget.
After the retreat, I emailed him. He left the retreat early and I filled him in on how the rest of the weekend went. (oy vey. For anyone that was at that retreat. you remember how it went. Stupid pranks, very upset youth pastors. it got ugly!)
And sure enough, a few days later, he responded.
A few weeks later, another simple email.
A couple months later, I asked for his address to invite him to my open house.
And then, he showed up.
And I was completely shocked. "BRAD" was at my house. He was hanging out with my friends. "BRAD" was now my friend.
And as awesome as that was, unfortunately, I was leaving for the entire summer.
Now let me explain one thing to you. Up till this point, I never viewed Brad as more than a friend. (a very cute friend that I had a major crush on) but nothing more.
The night before I left, I emailed him. And I told him how my heart actually hurt knowing that I was leaving and this friendship that we had developed would be nothing more. I was leaving for the summer and then going off to college. I remember that feeling was just so overwhelming. So discouraging.
The next morning we left. We got to steak n shake so I could say bye to Kayla and I got a text from Brad. He was on his way to Milford. With a burnt cd and a bag of reese cups. He wanted to surprise me. And it was at that very moment that I KNEW this was different than any other friendship I had ever had.
I was in Ashland Ohio that whole next week. We texted back and forth. Had a few phone calls, but I MISSED him. That Tuesday night I got a call from a very upset kayla who was going through some pretty rough stuff. It killed me that I couldn't be there for her. I remember calling brad and bawling bc the one time my best friend TRULY needed me, I was gone. The next day? Who shows up to Ashland? Brad and Kayla. He reached out to her and brought her to see me. (almost a 4 hr trip) I was so amazed.
We had to leave Ashland that Friday. We were gathering up our stuff and making some last minute plans and I walk into the national office. And theres Brad.
He came back again.
To see me :)
I BAWLED this time when he left. I couldn't bring myself to watch him go. I honestly think that is when I fell in love with him.(shh, don't tell him)
Cassie Carter and Amy Watts can vouch for me that the whole summer was spent with me talking to him every night and texting him all day. (my parents can vouch too bc they paid the phone bill. OUCH!)
The best thing that happened to me that summer was I broke my arm.
Because breaking my arm sent me home for a few days.
And that allowed my mom to meet Brad on the steps of the retreat house at Camp.
That also allowed Brad to show up at our church picnic at Yogi Bear Park and meet everyone.
Who knew a broken bone could be such a good thing :)
Conference that year was a blur. IT WAS AMAZING! I saw him all the time. We hung out from sunrise till hours after curfew. And the crazy thing was, after talking every night for hours on end all summer long, we never ran out of things to say. I had never known a person as well as I knew this guy. And we weren't even dating!
Well.... officially
And that's because, the gentlemen that he was, wanted to ask my dads permission. And what better way to do that then a 4 hour car ride back from Ashland with my parents.
Luckily, they liked him :)
And July 28, 2006 we officially started dating.
Sept 29, 2007 we got married.
Some people think that we got married so fast but honestly, we didn't. We spent more time talking and getting to know each other than most people ever do. (one phone conversation over that summer was 6 hrs long. That was none stop talking for 6 hrs.)
I didn't set out looking for a husband. I had never really dated. Brad just kind of appeared in my life and was there to stay.
Its now Sept 2013 and we still havn't run out of thing to say.
He still surprises me with his charm.
And I don't know how but somehow I love him even more now that I did back in 2006.
The only reason I bring this all up is to explain to you, that this post is not a "read in between the lines post" Its not a "my life is a mess and so I want to disguise it and make it seem better than it is" This post is simply about how I truly am the luckiest, most blessed person that I know.
And let me tell you why....
Because in 2006, I fell in love with a guy named Brad.
Me and this guy named Brad are going to be celebrating 6 years of marriage this coming Sunday and that has me thinking about our journey to this point.
Fair warning, it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies.
There have been some uphill battles.
There have been some poor decisions.
There have been a lot of learning experiences.
BUT
every single fight
every single tear
every single frustrating moment has gotten us to where we are.
AND IT HAS BEEN TOTALLY WORTH IT!!
Let me go back 7 years for those of you who don't know the Brad and Brittany story. (not to worry, even though I remember practically every step of the journey, I won't share the entire thing (although I will be sharing a lot). I mean, lets face it. I'm only 25. There are still parts of my life that will wait a few years to tell my parents about ;)
I've known of Brad for quite some time. I always knew him as "BRAD" though. "BRAD" the guy who was in charge of church retreats. He was always the center of attention. Majority of the girls my age had a crush on him. To me, and a lot of other people, he was one of the faces of the Brethren Youth.
My 1st encounter with Brad was at a big boot air band in Nappanee. There he was standing with a group of guys (a couple were my friends) I started talking to him about, who knows what and I asked him about the hat he was wearing. (North Carolina tarheels) I don't know how it happened, but I ended up with the hat. I PROMISED him I would give it to him at the next youth conference. My parents and sister can vouch for me, that hat was like a priced possession. I made sure nothing happened to it. I wore it all the time. And at that next conference, I gave it back.
And that was it.
It wasn't until a retreat though that I truly got to know him.
Feb of 2006 we were at a winter retreat. I was hanging out with an old friend of mine and we were getting ready to sneak out (typical night at camp Shipshewana. sorry Erica. sorry Rick. sorry mom!) There was a big group in the basement playing Risk and Emily and I were headed out the door. As we were leaving "BRAD" comes running through the lobby. I have no idea why she did it but Emmy asked if he wanted to come out with us. I don't know why he did it, but he said sure! (this was huge looking back now that I know how competitive my husband is. He quite a game of risk to hang out with us!)
So, we walked around.
We talked.
We got to know each other.
It was innocent.
It was harmless.
It was a night I knew I would never forget.
After the retreat, I emailed him. He left the retreat early and I filled him in on how the rest of the weekend went. (oy vey. For anyone that was at that retreat. you remember how it went. Stupid pranks, very upset youth pastors. it got ugly!)
And sure enough, a few days later, he responded.
A few weeks later, another simple email.
A couple months later, I asked for his address to invite him to my open house.
And then, he showed up.
And I was completely shocked. "BRAD" was at my house. He was hanging out with my friends. "BRAD" was now my friend.
And as awesome as that was, unfortunately, I was leaving for the entire summer.
Now let me explain one thing to you. Up till this point, I never viewed Brad as more than a friend. (a very cute friend that I had a major crush on) but nothing more.
The night before I left, I emailed him. And I told him how my heart actually hurt knowing that I was leaving and this friendship that we had developed would be nothing more. I was leaving for the summer and then going off to college. I remember that feeling was just so overwhelming. So discouraging.
The next morning we left. We got to steak n shake so I could say bye to Kayla and I got a text from Brad. He was on his way to Milford. With a burnt cd and a bag of reese cups. He wanted to surprise me. And it was at that very moment that I KNEW this was different than any other friendship I had ever had.
I was in Ashland Ohio that whole next week. We texted back and forth. Had a few phone calls, but I MISSED him. That Tuesday night I got a call from a very upset kayla who was going through some pretty rough stuff. It killed me that I couldn't be there for her. I remember calling brad and bawling bc the one time my best friend TRULY needed me, I was gone. The next day? Who shows up to Ashland? Brad and Kayla. He reached out to her and brought her to see me. (almost a 4 hr trip) I was so amazed.
We had to leave Ashland that Friday. We were gathering up our stuff and making some last minute plans and I walk into the national office. And theres Brad.
He came back again.
To see me :)
I BAWLED this time when he left. I couldn't bring myself to watch him go. I honestly think that is when I fell in love with him.(shh, don't tell him)
Cassie Carter and Amy Watts can vouch for me that the whole summer was spent with me talking to him every night and texting him all day. (my parents can vouch too bc they paid the phone bill. OUCH!)
The best thing that happened to me that summer was I broke my arm.
Because breaking my arm sent me home for a few days.
And that allowed my mom to meet Brad on the steps of the retreat house at Camp.
That also allowed Brad to show up at our church picnic at Yogi Bear Park and meet everyone.
Who knew a broken bone could be such a good thing :)
Conference that year was a blur. IT WAS AMAZING! I saw him all the time. We hung out from sunrise till hours after curfew. And the crazy thing was, after talking every night for hours on end all summer long, we never ran out of things to say. I had never known a person as well as I knew this guy. And we weren't even dating!
Well.... officially
And that's because, the gentlemen that he was, wanted to ask my dads permission. And what better way to do that then a 4 hour car ride back from Ashland with my parents.
Luckily, they liked him :)
And July 28, 2006 we officially started dating.
Sept 29, 2007 we got married.
Some people think that we got married so fast but honestly, we didn't. We spent more time talking and getting to know each other than most people ever do. (one phone conversation over that summer was 6 hrs long. That was none stop talking for 6 hrs.)
I didn't set out looking for a husband. I had never really dated. Brad just kind of appeared in my life and was there to stay.
Its now Sept 2013 and we still havn't run out of thing to say.
He still surprises me with his charm.
And I don't know how but somehow I love him even more now that I did back in 2006.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Time to post...
I like to write. Its always been a passion of mine. Whether it bee poems or blogs, writing is what seems to relax me.
That's why I started this blog a couple years ago. Just to get everything out of my mind and on 'paper'.
I just spent the last 30 min reading through my previous posts and it was fascinating! To see how far we have come!!
Previous posts wondering if Brycen would EVER sleep! Yep, he does.
Previous posts wondering if we made the right decision going back to Goshen Church. Yep, we did.
But there the posts about how Thursday are Walmart and McDonald day. Not anymore.
How mine and Kaylas friendship would never end. Never see her anymore.
How hard it would be having mom and dad move. Much easier than we thought.
How hard it was to leave my Milford Church family. Yes hard but Goshen helps out.
Wondering if we ever even wanted a house. Getting closer!!
Life changes so much all the time! When I started the blog in the fall of 2011, Brad was working 2nd shift, the kids didn't sleep, we lived in Milford, went to Maple City Chapel, dad was the pastor at Milford.
Its now 2013 and none of that is the same anymore! Its only been 2 years!!
In 2011 we were so happy with how life was turning out.
Its now 2013 and life is even better than it was there.
My kids all sleep. Because they are all in school. AND DOING SO WELL!!
Brad works 3rd shift and it is PERFECT. I would honestly be happy if he never switched shifts again.
We have started the home buying process so by this time next year we may have a house.
Goshen is our home church. We are even involved!! Brad is an usher and I help with the Childrens Church Program. Brycen even goes on Wednesday nights.
I guess I never realized just how much had changed in the last couple years.
Another big thing that has changed? As I sit here writing this blog, I have laundry going, there are only a few dishes in my sink, the kids room and our room are clean, the bathrooms are clean, the van is clean, meat is thawing in the refrigerator for supper tonight.
In the last 2 years, we have grown up! Become responsible!! Is our house in perfect condition? HECK NO. Would CPS take our kids away if they came knocking on the door though and saw their living environment? Nope :)
We have found routine.
That was something that has been missing with us from day 1.
We have a schedule.
And that all stems from having 3 semi well behaved children.
Brycen is currently at school and the girls are sitting on the floor coloring. Brad is fast asleep upstairs. The only noise right now is the music channel blarring on our tv.
This is life now.
Is it still tough? ABSOLUTELY
Am I still always exhausted? ABSOLUTELY
Do I still have melt downs? ALMOST WEEKLY
Do I still forget to shower everyday? YOU BETCHA
I can deal with all of that though. Im 25, going on 6 years of marriage with my best friend at the end of the month (WOW!) 3 AMAZING children, great friends, amazing family, loving church family.
I do believe I am winning this game called LIFE :)
That's why I started this blog a couple years ago. Just to get everything out of my mind and on 'paper'.
I just spent the last 30 min reading through my previous posts and it was fascinating! To see how far we have come!!
Previous posts wondering if Brycen would EVER sleep! Yep, he does.
Previous posts wondering if we made the right decision going back to Goshen Church. Yep, we did.
But there the posts about how Thursday are Walmart and McDonald day. Not anymore.
How mine and Kaylas friendship would never end. Never see her anymore.
How hard it would be having mom and dad move. Much easier than we thought.
How hard it was to leave my Milford Church family. Yes hard but Goshen helps out.
Wondering if we ever even wanted a house. Getting closer!!
Life changes so much all the time! When I started the blog in the fall of 2011, Brad was working 2nd shift, the kids didn't sleep, we lived in Milford, went to Maple City Chapel, dad was the pastor at Milford.
Its now 2013 and none of that is the same anymore! Its only been 2 years!!
In 2011 we were so happy with how life was turning out.
Its now 2013 and life is even better than it was there.
My kids all sleep. Because they are all in school. AND DOING SO WELL!!
Brad works 3rd shift and it is PERFECT. I would honestly be happy if he never switched shifts again.
We have started the home buying process so by this time next year we may have a house.
Goshen is our home church. We are even involved!! Brad is an usher and I help with the Childrens Church Program. Brycen even goes on Wednesday nights.
I guess I never realized just how much had changed in the last couple years.
Another big thing that has changed? As I sit here writing this blog, I have laundry going, there are only a few dishes in my sink, the kids room and our room are clean, the bathrooms are clean, the van is clean, meat is thawing in the refrigerator for supper tonight.
In the last 2 years, we have grown up! Become responsible!! Is our house in perfect condition? HECK NO. Would CPS take our kids away if they came knocking on the door though and saw their living environment? Nope :)
We have found routine.
That was something that has been missing with us from day 1.
We have a schedule.
And that all stems from having 3 semi well behaved children.
Brycen is currently at school and the girls are sitting on the floor coloring. Brad is fast asleep upstairs. The only noise right now is the music channel blarring on our tv.
This is life now.
Is it still tough? ABSOLUTELY
Am I still always exhausted? ABSOLUTELY
Do I still have melt downs? ALMOST WEEKLY
Do I still forget to shower everyday? YOU BETCHA
I can deal with all of that though. Im 25, going on 6 years of marriage with my best friend at the end of the month (WOW!) 3 AMAZING children, great friends, amazing family, loving church family.
I do believe I am winning this game called LIFE :)
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