I'm 23 *soon to be 24!*
I have 3 kids
Been married for 4 years
...yet, I don't "feel" like an adult
I don't "feel" like this is my life
When does that feeling go away? Like I really feel like I was just tossed into someone else's story. I feel like I'm just a character and that I am just acting out scenes to this never ending story.
Why?
I love my life. I would have never dreamed that this is how it would turn out. I thought for sure it would turn out more something like this.....
Graduate from highschool
Go to Ashland University
Become a language arts teacher *thats right, I wanted to be an English teacher*
Maybe get married at some point
If I had kids it would be before I was 25 and maybe only 1
All of this would happen out of this area. I thought once I left I would never come back.
Yet, here I am. I live 2 blocks away from the house I grew up in
Up till a couple months ago, I attended the same church I was raised in
My best friend is the same girl since I was 10 years old
Maybe thats why I feel like I was just dropped into someone else's story because I still feel like the girl I always was, like nothing changed.
I'm not saying it a bad feeling or that I am upset by it. And I'm by no means saying I have any regrets. It's just funny how life turns out.
Kayla had a baby last week and that was like a huge moment in my life and I thought that strange. I am not related to this little boy in anyway. Other friends of mine have had kids and it has never affected me like this.
I've been thinking about it though and I think the reason it had such an impact on me is it is a huge change in my life. Something I always knew was no matter where life took me, Kayla and I would somehow stay best friends and our kids would grow up together. I had no clue how we would pull it off, but wherever I lived, she would just be there. I dunno, I was a kid. Thats how life was supposed to work.
Thats actually going to happen. ONE thing I planned for my future is actually coming true and its slowly making my entire life seem real.
After looking back at my "lifes agenda" thats the only thing that I truely needed to happen. It didn't matter where I ended up living, what my job ended up being, how many kids I had, who I would marry. All of those would turn out the exact way they were supposed to. God dropped a great guy into my life and BAM!! all those decisions were made.
13+ years ago, God dropped my best friend into my life and BAM!!, forever and for always there she will be.
God never chose for me to go to Ashland
or to be a teacher
or to only have 1 child.
If he chose those things for me, they would have happened. He had something better in mind. Something I was NEVER able to comprehend.
As for Kayla though, clearly that is one thing that God has chosen, because she's still here.
and I'm still here
And now she has an adorable little boy...
Jordan may be small but his birth has made it click that my life is exactly the way it's supposed to be, and all the perfect people are in it.
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